Solitude

Grief and loss can be debilitating but can be overcome.  Ms Howard stood rigid and unemotional by the grave in which her 20-year-old son Patrick was buried. Life as she knew it was over. Time was now referred to as, “Before Patrick's death” and “After Patrick's death.” It's been 10 years since her loss. As she sat on my sofa, she said with a smile, “You know, Patrick wanted to be a psychologist. He wanted to work with people who had lost someone dear and look at the irony... here I am, still grieving Patrick, even after 10 years.” It has taken Ms Howard years to reach out and ask for support. All this time has been spent trying to hold her family together, move on, live life and “get over it”. “After a point people merely feel sympathy, but no empathy. They said that I should try to forget and stop grieving. People keep telling me that 10 years is a long time. I feel very depressed that I am unable to move on.” Part of life Grief and loss can come disgui...

There are plenty of reasons for us to invoke the power of positive thinking in ourselves, but most of the benefits of a positive attitude can be sized into one of these more prominent "Big Three Lesses" below: 1. Less Stress   Imagine all the times you were complaining about somebody or something - chances are those negative feelings were leaving their mark on you in the form of stress.A lot of times, an occasional complaint may seem like an instant stress reliever. But what about such an attitude in the long run? Getting into the habit of constant grousing, particularly over trivialities or things not directly in our control (like other people's attitude, for instance), is a sure fire way to invite the negative power of stress into our being. Since stress feeds on negativity, reducing stress is a good reason to eliminate negativity and stay positive in life.  "Attitude is everything. Instead of thinking about what you're missing, try thinking ab...

Negative people are an unfortunate fact of life. Whether it’s the coworker who is always complaining about the company or the sister whose judgmental remarks make every visit an ordeal, they drive us nuts. Here’s the bad news: we’re not going to change them. But we can learn to react to them in ways that protect our self-esteem as well as our sanity. So we’ve gathered some great tips for you: Steer the conversation in a neutral direction. Talk about books, movies, celebrities  — anything that will stop the complaining or snarking. If a person is talking about a specific problem  (the high cost of medical care, the amount of work she has to do), just listen to her and try to understand how she feels. If you want, ask if there’s anything you can do to help, but only if it won’t drain you. Don’t argue.  That just draws you into the cycle of negativity. Complainers are likely to think that you’re trying to talk them out of feeling angry, and that can make them even angrier...

1. It’s okay to make mistakes. Mistakes and failures are there to teach us. If we learn from them and correct the way on our path, better things will result from it. 2. We create our own reality. We have the power to break mental patterns that no longer serve us, and we have the power to consciously choose thoughts that empower us. It’s only a matter of breaking old habits and creating new ones. 3. Finding validation and seeking love from another person through relationships is a self-destructive path. Those types of relationships never last, and when they end, they burn in heartache. You must love and respect yourself first. When you wholeheartedly love who you are, the world will fall in love with you, and the right relationship will fall into place. Until I fully accept, love and respect myself, I will continue to attract those relationships rooted in fear, insecurities and disempowerment. 4. A few moments of silence each day will broaden your horizon, strengthen your self-a...

Here are 4 steps  identified for genuinely getting past disappointment: 1. Let it out. One of the hardest things to do in a world where everything is immediate—we are all under external pressure, and time is a scarce resource—is to just let yourself experience a feeling. Even at the most difficulties times, such as grieving, on average we only allow ourselves 1 to 2 weeks off or work, and then we mostly expect to get back into normality again. Human beings are not very good at allowing the experiencing of emotions in full without trying to speed up the process. The only time we have this ability in its purest sense is when we are young children who have yet to be told or taught what is socially acceptable. Children will tantrum and cry and scream, or laugh until it runs out and they are genuinely ready to move on. I’m not suggesting we lock ourselves away for weeks at a time whenever we have been disappointed, but to be aware of any sense of obligation to “just get ov...